What to expect when you begin to work with the horse and human teammates at Triquestrian…

The Psychotherapy incorporating Equines at Triquestrian primarily uses the Natural Lifemanship model of Trauma-Focused Equine Assisted Psychotherapy. We also bring in EMDR, Internal Family Systems, DBT, and other specialties as appropriate. Our work with the horses lands in 2 different realms. Relationship Logic is the work of building and maintaining relationships with the purpose of healing within those relationships. Relationship Logic is largely unmounted work, with both human and horse on the ground, and negotiating their shared spaces and interactions. Rhythmic Riding is another way that we incorporate horses into the healing process. Rhythmic Riding is mounted work, with the goal of having the client be able to experience the rhythmic, bilateral movement of the horse in their body while also feeling the deep connection the horse is offering as it consents and contributes to carrying the client. Rhythmic Riding is useful when a client is experiencing a degree of difficulty in getting connected to their own body's sensations and feedback.

We’ve found that generally the work of healing happens in 3 stages. Please keep in mind that this is a generalization and that often people will move amongst these stages while engaged in their work at Triquestrian.

Stage 1: Connection to Self

At Triquestrian, we believe that healing happens through the process of orienting towards Connection as opposed to Protection. In order to even begin doing this, we often need to start with understanding our own systems. The nervous system runs throughout our whole body, not just in our mind, so often the first thing we need to connect with is ourselves and our own bodies. Through psycho-education, mindfulness, movement, and other body-based experiences, as well as through observing and interacting with the horses, we will start to be able to notice our own body's responses to the world around us and to relationships. You may be asked to explore your inner world through questions like, “What are you noticing in or around your body as the horse sniffs your hand?”. If you report an emotional response such as “I feel calm” or “I feel anxious”. We may then ask you to explore that and get curious about how it is that your body is experiencing calm or anxious. These questions can feel really tough at first! It’s not uncommon to answer with “I don’t know” or to be able to mostly notice thoughts instead of body sensations or emotions. The goal of this stage is to invite back in to our bodies the ability to feel emotions, and to be able to notice an inner Yes and an inner No. When we are able to receive feedback from our bodies that we feel safe or don’t feel safe, we can begin to engage in the choices available to us in relationships.

Generally during this stage, the interactions with the horses can look like:

~ Observing the herd and how they are interacting with each other

~ Noticing the horses as individuals and how they all uniquely show up to relationships

~ Engaging with the horses with a fence in between us

~ Grooming and physical contact with consent if it feels safe for both parties

Stage 2: Connection to Others

As we begin to be able to notice ourselves and to recognize what safe feels like in our bodies, we can then begin to start to engage in some relationship building with a horse or horses. Relationships are built on requests made within a relationship. In a safe and connected relationship, these requests are ideally being made from both parties and there is a sense of rhythm and predictability in how these requests are made. Often, when we are learning how to orient towards Connection instead of Protection, it can feel like we are RE-learning how to do relationships. Here is an example: A protective pattern we might have is to always wait for the horse to be the one to initiate an interaction. This is protective because we may not want to bother or upset the horse by interrupting it, so in order to stay safe, we are passive and do not make a request for the horse’s attention. A connected pattern would be to try to offer a more balanced experience of initiating, by sometimes letting the horse do it, and sometimes you do it. This will likely feel stressful and can bring up feelings of vulnerability. Because we’ve begun to understand our own nervous system, we are sensing in to a window of tolerance and accepting that RE-learning ways of doing relationships can be hard and even pretty scary, but that is different than Not Safe. When it begins to feel Not Safe, you are able to respond appropriately, perhaps slow down or stop what is happening, and re orient towards connection to your self.

Generally during this stage interactions with the horses can look like:

~ Going inside of a pen with a horse or horses

~ Learning how to use pressure, internal pressure that is expressed through body language, to make requests for attention and engagement

~ Co-creating with a horse the degree of attachment (closeness), asking the horse to come or be close to you.

~ Co-creating with a horse the degree of detachment (distance), asking the horse to move away or stay away from you.

~ Asking the horse to walk with you with or without a lead rope

~ The human learning how to respond to the horses use of pressure as they also make requests for attachment and detachment.

~ Becoming comfortable with rupture and repair, receiving No as an answer and learning how to give No as an answer

~ Many other things! All relationships are unique and horses and clients often create special ways together of being in relationship.

Stage 3: Deepening/Trauma Processing

As we begin to connect to ourselves and to experience connection within relationships, we begin to be able to feel in our bodies a physical sensation that accompanies connection. We can call this body-felt experience of connection - Connection with a capital C! This is also described sometimes as Love, or can even feel like it has a spiritual component to it. This deep Connection starts to come together once we feel as safe in rupture and repair as we do in the moments of connection. We are able to recognize our needs and boundaries and feel safe communicating them within the relationship and are able to do so in a way that feels safe to our relationship partner. We are able to respond to our horses needs and boundaries from a place of compassion and understanding. It is within these deeply safe and secure relationships that you are hopefully now feeling with both your human team and the horse you’ve been working with, that often any needed trauma processing may occur. It may start to feel available to you to grieve a loss you’ve experienced, to revisit a traumatic memory in a safe and supported space, or to express some difficult emotions that have been suppressed. In this stage, you are also able to start to take what you’ve learned in your relationship with the horses and apply it to other relationships in your life, and to begin to seek out and build new safe and connected relationships as well.

And finally…Detachment

Because the vehicle for change and healing at Triquestrian is primarily the relationship, we honor all parts of the relationship. The beginning, middles, and end. As each client begins and continues to move through their own unique process here, we will often talk about ending our work here. The end of our work here is inevitable, all relationships end, and we embrace this as an opportunity to end a relationship in an intentional and connected way. We will offer support and presence as there is often both grief and celebration that is felt around this time for both the client and the team they’ve been working with.